Anyone that thinks kids aren't funny...never read this...
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'
STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'
BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said. 'It makes my teeth cough.'
DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'
JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: ''What happened to the flea?'
TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'
The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget: this particular Sunday sermon ...
'Dear Lord,' the Minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, 'Without you, we are but dust ...'
He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'
I'm such a slacker, I totally forget to post blogs on here...I figure no one reads them any more..oh well. It gives me an outlet when I need one and that's great.
Mondays this month my single's ward gets to do Family Home Evening for the two rest homes in our stake. Can I tell you that's a crazy experience! I got to do the one on Monday this week. I love the people dearly the first home there was a lady and she had no teeth, and kept crying out "HELP ME!" She was quiet when I started singing, but then when I stopped she'd yell again. "HELP ME!" She scared me to death! The second home was fun too, the lady that said the opening prayer was backwards...she kept saying, "God Bless Me" haha it was funny. Then there was this cute guy who smiles a lot, and when it came time to sing, he'd sing so loud the one lady next to him covered her ears. It was all I could do to keep from laughing. I know that there are older people in the world, someday my parents might be these people in this home. My hope is that if that happens someone will be nice enough to visit with my parents the way I tried to visit with these amazing people.
Valentine's Day -
It's funny, I've never been a huge fan of Valentine's Day. I just can't get into it...there's something not right about it...maybe it's the commercialization of it. I'm not a fan of that at all.
I was promoted at work last week, and start my new position on the 3rd of March. I'm really excited. New opportunities will come my way, and I can't wait. It's definitely going to be awesome.
I purchased an alarm system so if someone breaks into my home they alarm will sound and alert my neighbors. They are loud alarms, I had one go off on me just to hear it. It was louder than the smoke alarm.
I finally decided with the help of my Father in Heaven that it was time to take out my endowments. I know the church encourages us to wait until the time is right, but I felt a sense of urgency and knew that I needed to go through. So, on February 7th I took out my endowments. All I can really say is, that it was beautiful and amazing. Words cannot fully describe the experience and I am humbled that the Lord felt I was ready to do this.
Well, that's it for me right now...
ONLY A MOTHER WOULD KNOW.....
Cup of Tea .
One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as
a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I
brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several
cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure
enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know.. :)
'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?